Growing up

Growing up takes some serious skill. How most adults make it past the age of twenty gets me every time I think of it.
Even though I don't want to admit it, I am growing up. It seems like as I grow a year, I gain yet another pound of gravity pushing on me, and yet another worry bow to tie onto my fingers.

Today is one of those days where I feel like I have run outta space on my fingers to tie bows.

You see readers, my friend died just recently. Before she could even become a good friend.

This wonderful girl I write of; was crazy, wore strange clothes, had long extensions, and was probably one of the nicest people I have ever met.

She always helped me whenever I needed it, told wild stories of what she did the night before, and one time- she gave me a bracelet.... I still have it.

Yet...

Every memory of her getting hurt in the first place is flooding back to me... I have jumped ship and am sinking.


~___________~

Readers you probably are confused as to why this is called "Growing Up," if she is well, past. It has something to do with the unfairness of it all... For instance, even though I know her death has nothing to do with me.. I wonder why wasn't it me? Why do I get the opportunity to grow up and she doesn't? Why did it have to be her? I wouldn't want it to happen to anyone... but, in my school her getting hurt in the first place was a serious reality check.
Was she the most popular person alive, that everyone knew and liked? No. She wasn't. But, she was still a person. A person, that I knew and liked, a person that didn't deserve all the pain and suffering that was bequeathed on her, a good person- that never would preform a harm on anyone... yet, was thrown into all of harms way.

~___________~

The funny thing is though (I cannot shake it outta my head), like so many other ninth graders, she barely made it through the year... And at the end of it, she let go of everything.
Maybe it is her way of breaking free from the fight...
But I dunno. All I do know is

:( I miss her. I miss the girl I never really got to know who was always smiling and so willing to to give me a bracelet right off her hand.